creative writing – Page 2 – The Magic Roundabout

Moving On

Sitting by the window, she allowed her mind to wander. She found her thoughts filled with nostalgic memories, and the dreary look of the early winter garden did nothing to cheer her mood. She loved the crisp winter days, but this bleak, still, grey weather made her miserable. She remembered the day over 23 years ago, when she had brought him home from the hospital – a beautiful, big, blonde baby boy. How the years have flown, she mused. No longer so blonde and the baby fat all gone, he had become a good looking young man with light brown hair. A fledgling who had left the nest to try spreading his wings. She was the last person to think of clipping those wings. She had encouraged the move, knowing the importance to their relationship of letting go. Possessive mother was not part of her makeup.

She loved him dearly, but the past few months had been fraught with frustrations on her side. She had begun to feel used, and somewhat abused by his apparent selfishness. Passing his open door and viewing the mess within had made her fight to control her anger. She knew this was all a part of the cycle – outgrowing the family home and no longer having any regard for family rules. Shouting didn’t help matters. It just caused her to feel exhausted and nothing was gained. Finally, he mentioned his hopes of getting a flat of his own to rent. All of a sudden there seemed to be a bright light at the end of the tunnel! Could it be possible that, before those men in white coats came to take her away, her sanity would be saved?

He had been an easy child with a good sense of humour. The teenage years had often proved to be challenging, as any confrontation seemed to end with the slamming of doors and the threat of running away. She blamed this behaviour on his father’s genes! She took the credit for his love of socialising and his sharp wit. Funny how easy it is to pass the buck for one’s children’s shortcomings! She was proud of his accomplishments. He had worked hard for the past five years and was beginning to find his feet. Soon he would be able to consider making a down payment of a home of his own. No doubt marriage would be the next big step. The cycle would start all over again with the birth of his first child, just as it had the day he was born.

She had to force herself not to feel depressed. After all, this was the beginning of his true independence, so why was she feeling sorry for herself? For the first time in years, she had a room to pursue her arts and crafts and how she had yearned for that moment! It must be the weather that was making her feel down. Exercise would do the trick. She dragged herself from her thoughts and started changing into a tracksuit. Running the dogs always managed to cheer her up.

Memories

Do you remember me, in the dark of the night,
When you lie awake,
Unable to sleep?
As you fight to escape your fears
And doubts,
Do you think of me?

When you wake to the sun’s embryonic rays,
Do you think of me?
As you face the onslaught of another day
Of struggles within and without,
Do your thoughts traverse the miles,
And do you miss me?

We were one, you and I
For many long years,
But now we are two, and divided.
Do you miss me?
As the shadows wane and evening draws nigh,
Do you remember me?

Judy Binns Nemeth

Update and Comments: December 28, 2018

I cannot believe that it is over two weeks since my last update and comment! These public holidays which are accompanied by frenetic activities such as cooking, baking, wrapping gifts and spending time with family and friends tend to result in my getting all mixed up regarding the days of the week. Anyway, another Christmas Day has come and gone and a great time was had by all and now it’s time for a quick update!

As promised, I have inserted a photograph in the about page, and I have also created the contact page. Furthermore, the “Guest Contributor” section has been started with a hobbyist chef and his recipes. I am planning that, over the next few days, I will be starting to publish the first of several articles on local South African artists highlighting some of their work. This is all thanks to the kind co-operation of the Staedtler Company in South Africa and their extremely informative magazine, “MARS arts crafts and design”. More information will be given to you under the umbrella of “Artists”. Suffice to say that I hope you will find this section of great interest.

Since having to say goodbye to our dear Rudie, I have been in touch with the well respected breeder from whom we purchased him almost 13 years ago, and it seems very likely that soon we will be welcoming a new German Shepherd pup into our home. I will be giving you more info (for those of you who, like myself, are dog lovers) regular updates on this development.

Meantime, as we all recover from an overload of food, alcohol (if one does imbibe), people and end of year stress, I will just say that I truly hope that we can share a lot of thoughts, ideas and useful information in 2019.

Once again, that’s all for now and see you on the Magic Roundabout!

How Full is YOUR Glass?

Do you ever get the impression that somehow your moods are being determined for you and that there’s not much you can do to change how you feel? I am constantly in touch with people of all cultures, creeds and financial situations and everyone seems to have one thing in common – an on-going battle to see the glass half full, when life is throwing curved balls their way. Somehow these challenging moments often coincide with the end of the calendar year and the Christmas season. This is a time when families are often separated and loneliness itself can be debilitating. How can one cope when you are feeling sad and abandoned and spending the holidays alone?

Depending on where in the world you find yourself, it shouldn’t be too difficult to identify others whose circumstances are far worse, or at least comparable, to your own. Just reaching out to give them some encouragement often helps to alleviate your own feelings of sadness or despair. If you are able to cheer up another person and maybe even get them laughing, it’s amazing how much it impacts on your own mood. I am not talking about major depression here, that is a different situation entirely, and medical intervention is critical to prevent potential self-harm, especially at Christmastime.

Missing someone who has recently died and handling the grief process makes it virtually impossible to see the glass half full. Something which I found helped me tremendously after losing a best friend through cancer, was to sit down and write her a long, chatty letter, telling her all my latest news. Having spoken to her son and his family, I was able to tell her about her young grandson whom she had never met. It was very emotional to write this letter, but once I had finished it, re-read it and then disposed of it, it felt just the same as when we used to have our regular conversations before her illness. A cathartic way of channelling sadness which may be of help to others.

A totally different way to try to lift the cloud of negativity is, and I know this is a cliché, to do some form of exercise which will produce the endorphins in the brain which in turn will assist in a more positive frame of mind. All of you personal trainers out there will most likely be endorsing this advice. It can be so tough to actually force oneself to get up and at it and do that dreaded exercise. However, it is amazing how much better you often feel after a good workout, whether it is running on a treadmill, going for a long walk, riding a bicycle, bashing a punchbag with great gusto or having a swim. The results are much the same, although the amount of stiffness the next day depends on the activity chosen!

The moral of the two frogs

The story of the two frogs who fell into a tub of cream is another example of seeing the glass either half full or half empty and acting accordingly.

The first frog looked at his situation and, knowing he couldn’t swim in the cream, just gave up and sank to the bottom of the tub and died. His brother on the other hand realised that if he kept on kicking his little legs he could stay afloat in the tub of cream. He kicked and kicked and carried on kicking. Suddenly the cream began to turn into butter, and guess what? The little frog was able to hop out of the tub of cream and life carried on for him.

So, the moral of the story is that things are not always as bleak as they may first appear. Sometimes one has to try to look outside the box to find the answer to life’s problems. When all seems to be lost just carry on kicking your way to the top.

When the glass still seems half full, the following poem might help to keep you focused on the fact that everything changes, and when you are really down, the only way is up!

DON’T QUIT

When things go wrong,
As they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging
Seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and
The debts are high,

And you want to smile
But you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest, if you must…but don’t you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell
How close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar.

So stick to the fight
When you’re hardest hit…

It’s when things go wrong
That you MUST NOT QUIT!

Anon.

Update and Comments: December 10, 2018

Being rather technically challenged where IT is concerned (another shortcoming along with astronomy – planets, stars, galaxies etc., which are still a total enigma to me), I have a “behind the scenes” assistant who is presently still familiarising himself with WordPress. Therefore, I must admit that the blog is still “under construction”! I hope you will bear with me on this one!

I have lots of plans for keeping my blog one which should be interesting and, hopefully, appealing to many people who have varied interests and opinions. To prevent you from only hearing my voice, there will be a section for “Guest Contributors” and this will give an insight into the lives and passions of a variety of people from totally different backgrounds. I am not going to say too much about this section right now but you won’t have to wait too long for the first contribution.

Taking selfies is not something which appeals to me and I have never really enjoyed being photographed. I will, however, be replacing my unusual “About” photo once I find one which is more the real me – one which highlights just how much my looks have changed!

I realise that initially my posts tended to be too long, and the objective criticism I received in this regard has resulted in my splitting them into portions which should prove to be more easily digested. I do not want you to feel that you have to wade through my writing to get to the point.

Oh, by the way, I will also have a contact page on my blog in the not too distant future.

Well, that’s all for now and see you on the Magic Roundabout!

Update and Comments

I do hope to be able to communicate my plans for my blog with you, the reader, using this section in the weeks and months to come. Sometimes I won’t be doing a full post, but will just jot down some thoughts and opinions right here which I trust will be meaningful and possibly thought provoking?

Motivation

A great many people have, over the course of their lives, been influenced to a certain degree by attending seminars presented by motivational speakers, or others professing to have the secrets of personal success and financial independence at their fingertips. Strangely enough, if one were to conduct an extensive, world-wide survey it would probably become apparent that the only people who really have become financially independent through these seminars are those who are themselves the presenters and/or motivational speakers. Their wealth has often been the result of their international presentations as well as the sale of their books and videos, (in the past it was tapes) which attendees had been encouraged to buy. Humans are often vulnerable and open to brainwashing in one form or another, and when the financial aspect of their lives leaves a great deal to be desired, it stands to reason that it would be fairly simple to fill the halls where a well renowned speaker is going to impart the secrets of his success.

The hype which accompanies the actual seminar is often extremely euphoric and attendees are still fired up with optimism and enthusiasm as they leave the conference centre. However, to take what they have heard, and to read the books and implement the theories which are often outlined, is not a simple matter. Life has an uncanny knack of interfering with the positive plans which have been emphasised by the motivator. Notes have been taken down during the session, books have been purchased and possibly even personally signed by the presenter of the seminar and now it’s all going to fall into place. Or is it? It would be cynical to say that no-one benefits long term by these ra-ra sessions as there are often some incredibly meaningful messages coming out of such events.

There are many successful motivators or experts on improving one’s self-esteem, or current situation, and Dr. Brian Jude was a well known motivational speaker whom I was privileged to hear when I attended one of his seminars in Johannesburg, whilst being involved in direct selling. Several of his anecdotes have stayed with me ever since. One was GOYA – get off your arse! Only by getting off your butt and putting thoughts into action will there be any change. Another one was WIIFM – what’s in it for me. When dealing with potential customers it’s necessary that the person you want as your client sees that you are giving him a good deal, or excellent service. Taking yourself out of the equation and putting your client’s needs first makes him realise that you have his interests at heart. Both of these anecdotes could assist in growing one’s income potential.

Changing one’s attitude and becoming more successful in various areas of one’s life is a journey which involves so much more than merely attending a talk, and reading the right books. They can certainly help in gaining perspective but believing in yourself and seeing the glass half-full as opposed to half-empty can be extremely difficult for many people and there are so many factors which play their role. Confidence, self-love, feelings of self-worth, encouragement, are all words which come to mind when this subject is broached.

Whilst being involved in the training of young staff whilst owning a restaurant, an exercise which I found very useful in encouraging them to feel more confident was to ask each of them to list 6 things that they liked about themselves. It was distressing when there was one teenager who just could not come up with anything at all. In a situation such as this, the intervention of a qualified counsellor could have surely assisted in building his self-esteem. Just a thought?

We all thrive on positive input from friends and family as well as business associates and clients. However, it is very easy to become disheartened and to start doubting one’s capabilities when we receive negative comments. Very easy to say “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, but as humans most of us have fairly fragile egos especially when our capabilities are being questioned. This is where one’s childhood and upbringing come to the fore. Where parents have built self-esteem from a young age, then in adulthood it is usually easier to handle criticism. However, a child who has constantly been demeaned and put down by parents may never really have the confidence in the big bad world to reach their full potential

To keep positive in a world full of negativity and stress, it is certainly a good idea to surround oneself with material which can regularly be used to help improve one’s state of mind. Amusing videos, books which lift the spirits, friends who make you feel happy when you speak to them, and never forgetting the importance of good health and regular exercise in the maintenance of a positive self image, are all important factors to bear in mind. Yes, motivational seminars can provide one with good ideas which one can try to implement, but ultimately maintaining a healthy mental attitude to life and oneself is a constant work in progress.

Sense and Sensibility

One of the funniest things I ever heard was a child saying that his friend had cut his tongue on a cold drink can and all his taste buds had fallen out! Well, hopefully all that happened was that he had a small cut on the tip of his tongue and was still able to taste for the rest of his life! It must be dreadful being unable to taste food, smell fragrances, feel discomfort or pain in parts of one’s body (within reason of course!), hear sound or see the beauty all around. Our five senses are such an important part of being human.

3 Monkeys copy Resized.jpg — See no evil, Hear no evil, Taste no evil

A relative who was getting on in years once said that if she had to choose between being unable to hear or unable to see, she would probably choose having poor eyesight but still be able to enjoy listening to music. A difficult choice, and one which I believe none of us would willingly want to have to make. Losing one of our senses, after enjoying them for a good part of our lives, has to be traumatic in any event. Experts tell us that our other senses step in to compensate for the loss but surely that would only be the case in very young people or if one or more of the senses is absent from birth? I do hope that I never have to put that theory to the test!

What is more delicious than waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee? Oh, hang on-what about the appetizing smell of frying onions? Bacon sizzling away is another winner for those who are allowed to eat pork. The list could go on and on and the olfactory nerves have already awakened the taste buds (those which have not been lost through a sharp edged cold drink can!) which are now fired up and raring to go! Opening the window and taking a deep breath after the rain is decidedly therapeutic – especially if it hasn’t rained for quite a while. No more dust in the air! Divine! Yes, the power of smell is very important to a quality of life. Perfumers have known all about this since time immemorial and we pay a premium when we buy a bottle of their expertise!

What about touch? The warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you cuddle a new puppy or a new baby for that matter (depends on your preference of course), not to mention the smell of the puppy breath as well. We will leave out the new baby smell as it’s not always one of baby powder and soothing lavender lotion. How about the comfort of a friend’s hug when the days have been tough? We often tend to under estimate the value of being able to feel through our sense of touch. Babies need to be touched from the moment they are born. Premature infants in incubators are known to respond positively to gentle touch whilst fighting to survive. Humans are tactile creatures and many of us tend to ignore the importance of touch by being afraid of seeming to be needy.

Friends and family are so often scattered all over the world these days, and to be able to pick up the phone and hear your loved ones’ voices can make all the difference when it comes to coping with the miles that separate you. Fortunately there are a variety of up-to-date devices which assist with hearing loss which can be beneficial in many cases. One’s voice is unique, and often even age does not result in it changing. How often have you heard something which transports you back in time to another place and another age? It may have been someone’s voice, a song, a piece of music or even the sound of a plane flying over your house.

Sight is something we take for granted until the day we realise that the writing seems to be getting smaller or it is becoming difficult to read road signs. Fortunately, whether young or old, there are many forms of treatment. For children, wearing glasses is now in vogue – unlike those years in the past when a child was often the only one in the school who had to wear them and often got teased and called “four eyes” and asked if they wore them when they were asleep! Apart from deterioration due to age, with cataract removal surgery, lens implants, and an often performed procedure to cure short sightedness we are living in a world where we should be able to enjoy good sight for most, if not all, of our lives. However, even with 20/20 vision there are probably many people out there who remember the embarrassment of seeing someone you are sure you know and calling their name, only to find out that it’s not that person at all! So, sometimes, the sense of sight can be deceiving.

Eyes need to be treated with care as strange and often dangerous things can happen. An example is the true story of the over-worked, young mother trying to juggle a full-time job with bringing up a toddler, who grabbed a bottle of eye drops one morning to ease her dry eyes. Imagine her horror when she suddenly found herself totally unable to see, and her irises had become enormous. In desperation she rushed to the pharmacy for help. She took the bottle of eye drops with her and was horrified to discover that they were the ones the vet had prescribed for her dog’s eye infection! Never again will she store human and canine medication on the same shelf! Yes, she did recover the full function of her eyes, after a few days of blurry vision!

For many people their favourite sense is the sense of taste and it would be politically incorrect to mention the way in which this is often obvious to outside observers! Being blindfolded and asked to identify various foods can be quite nerve wracking as one is often suspicious if the food is not visible. Chefs know the importance of the presentation of the food to be served. If it looks appetising then one is more likely to savour the flavour. Even the most delicious food can fail the taste test due to its messy appearance. Imagine just how dull life would be if we had a yellow pill for breakfast, a green one for lunch and a red one for dinner. Many wives would welcome an advance such as this with open arms, but there is a lot to be said (and millions of ardent food lovers will vouch for this) for enjoying one’s food.

Many starving people in the world will never be in a position to understand the true enjoyment of experiencing different flavours of food, as for them food is just a necessity and not a gastronomic delight. For those fortunate enough for this not to apply and who have their taste buds intact and are able to thoroughly enjoy their sense of taste – Bon Appetit!

A lot has been written about a sixth sense and that will be covered in a later blog which I trust will prove to be of interest.

About

Now that I am starting to blog, the question comes up as to how to describe oneself?

My name is Judith Angela Nemeth (nee Binns), but as my first and last names when used together sound as though there is some sort of speech impediment, I tend to be called Judy or Jude and I live in South Africa!

I am definitely a people person, so all my interests do involve other people to some extent. I am passionate about psychological matters (have an Honours degree in Clinical Psychology) especially areas such as twin studies and the effect of early childhood experiences on later life. Making people laugh and feel better about their situation is something I thrive on. I am also fully qualified in reflexology and aromatherapy!

I have been in sales for many years, have lectured, taught an African language to school children, been a Lifeline counsellor (at a time when Aids had just reared its ugly head) and hired and trained staff in the hospitality industry during the 5 years I was a co-owner of a pub and restaurant where I was also a hands-on manager. My hope is to be able to share past experiences, current ideas as well as to have something truly worthwhile to contribute through my blog which is definitely not going to be all about me!

I was born in England and was fortunate enough to have travelled quite extensively in Europe during my younger years and have many memories and interesting facts related to this which I would love to share at some stage.

My aim is to have a blog which is sometimes interesting, sometimes informative, sometimes controversial and anything in between. Hopefully it will be fun to read – there is so much negativity in the world around us that some tongue in cheek humour often helps to lighten the load of day to day living. To appeal to all age groups and different cultural backgrounds would mean that my blogging is successful!

Choosing my blog name “Hey Jude” was easy as I am called Jude by many special people in my life, and the Beatles hit of the same name brings with it a lot of personal memories.