Tag: moods

Update and Comments – March 2023

Yet again, time has seemingly flown by and here I am acknowledging the rather daunting fact that I missed writing anything for  year? Well, no good crying over spilt milk, and my plan is to rectify the mistake and the following thoughts are my first in a very long time. Hopefully, I still have a few loyal followers who have not yet given me up as a totally lost cause!  If so, then thank you very much for being interested in my writing! It is much appreciated.

Loneliness in this busy world

From my perspective, the word “loneliness” definitely defines the feelings of many people, of varying ages, and economic backgrounds all over the world. Technological advances have made it relatively easy to communicate and keep in touch with friends and relatives in every corner of the universe, but the feelings of loneliness and abandonment would appear to be on the increase. This is confirmed by the number of cases of depression and attempted as well as successful suicides recorded by involved professionals in many areas. How many lonely and desperate people end their lives in sad mental states, just craving someone to take the time to listen to them?

From the above, it would appear that no advance in technology is going to be the magic formula to eliminating loneliness. The truth may be the total reverse. Being able to constantly hear and see, via social media, just how happy and successful and popular other people appear to be, could be the exacerbating factor in increasing one’s sense of loneliness and being a failure. Age doesn’t seem to be the all defining factor in this situation either. Teenage suicides are, in certain societies, on the increase and cyber bullying is often being cited as the cause. How lonely must a young person feel when they have no-one to turn to, whilst they have to suffer on-line attacks to their feelings of self-worth.

Somehow, face to face bullying might be slightly easier to handle as others can sometimes witness the bullying and hopefully intervene. When bullying comes in the form of abusive personal phone calls or offensive photos going viral, belittling or embarrassing the recipient or creating fear, one can only imagine the pain such behaviour can cause. For the bully, it is easier to do their dirty work without having to actually face the one they are taking pleasure in trying to destroy psychologically. Obviously, it has to be a person with very low personal self esteem who needs to frighten and harass another to gain a feeling of power. Such behaviour deserves the most severe form of punishment if and when the perpetrator is identified and confronted.

Another area which appears to be the reason for many cases of loneliness is the emigration of family members to far-away places and the subsequent break down of a former close-knit unit. Although zoom calls and regular phone chats can help to keep in touch, nothing takes the place of personal visits and family time spent together. For many older people the internet itself can be challenging and often failing eyesight or hearing just makes communicating very difficult . By taking the time to notice signs of loneliness and being aware of it being a possible precursor to more serious mental conditions such as depression and feeling hopeless, we might just be able to do our part in making a difference for someone, in the course of our own day to day busy lives.

Just a thought.

Bye for now and see you on the Magic Roundabout!

Updates and Comments2 472x265

Communication in 2021

I hesitate to appear to come across as a professional moaner, but there are certain things which rile me more than others. One of those is the inability of far too many people to communicate effectively, or correctly. Everyone is quick to blame technology and the constant use of mobile phones and i-pads as being the cause, but I tend to disagree. I believe that part of the problem is the current obsession with oneself, one’s rights and one’s feelings of self-importance, with little regard for other people. A saying which has left a lingering impression on me is, “You will be remembered not so much for what you did, but how you made people feel.” Very profound words if you take the time to consider just what they mean.

Many of us across all age groups are faced with too much to do in the course of the day, and not enough hours to get it all done. Therefore, making the effort to get in touch with friends, family or even acquaintances, just to find out how they are coping in these troubling times, should be seen as a privilege by the recipient of the contact. In many cases this is not so. Nothing is more uplifting than someone sounding genuinely pleased at hearing your voice on the other end of the line, or having enjoyed reading your written message, either via WhatsApp or e-mail.

It is very deflating to find that, no matter how you try, certain people just seem to be either too involved in their day-to-day activities, or just not interested in hearing from you to respond. It takes a very thick skin not to feel disappointed and often dejected. Surely, it’s only common courtesy to acknowledge that someone has bothered to think of you and to try to get in touch? In days gone by, when it was very much more challenging to be able to keep in touch with one another, people did   recognize the importance of having good manners. That does not seem to be the case in the world in which we now find ourselves. Hence, it can be a pleasant surprise when you get a truly happy response from the other person. It is enough to give you a certain amount of motivation to carry on making contact with people even if your response rate is not as high as you would have liked.

Another gripe (excuse the moan) is when, through your communication channel, you have enquired about certain aspects of the other person’s life or situation, or even something connected to a shared past incident or occasion, and their response totally omits any reference to the subject you mentioned. It seems that they did not even take the time to actually read what you had written. This kind of communication can be very frustrating and leave you feeling irritated and dissatisfied with the outcome of your endeavours. Nothing makes life more meaningful and pleasant for many of us than being able to communicate with other people, and it is sad that it seems to be the older generation who still bother to make the effort. Not all older people are sitting around waiting to die and having hours of time on their hands. These days many find that they are busier than ever before, and retirement is not on their agenda. However, they are often still the ones who make the effort for meaningful communication.

Another adage which can refer to the above is, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person”. Where computer games, mobile phone usage and hobbies take up a large portion of a person’s day, apart from studies or work, then it is probably somewhat unrealistic to expect any time to be given up for reading your correspondence, or to call you back after you left a voice message. Strange as it may seem, it is very often the busiest members of your so-called “circle of influence” who give you the satisfaction and pleasure of the kind of response for which you were hoping.

My wish is that, despite the world moving at a breakneck pace where technology is concerned, we begin to see more people keeping in touch meaningfully with one another. Should this not happen, then feelings of abandonment, loneliness and worthlessness are likely to manifest themselves in more and more cases of depression and even self-harm, which could be avoided or minimised just by communicating how much you care for the other person’s well-being.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion
that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw