blog – The Magic Roundabout

Update and Comments – March 2023

Yet again, time has seemingly flown by and here I am acknowledging the rather daunting fact that I missed writing anything for year? Well, no good crying over spilt milk, and my plan is to rectify the mistake and the following thoughts are my first in a very long time. Hopefully, I still have a few loyal followers who have not yet given me up as a totally lost cause! If so, then thank you very much for being interested in my writing! It is much appreciated.

Loneliness in this busy world

From my perspective, the word “loneliness” definitely defines the feelings of many people, of varying ages, and economic backgrounds all over the world. Technological advances have made it relatively easy to communicate and keep in touch with friends and relatives in every corner of the universe, but the feelings of loneliness and abandonment would appear to be on the increase. This is confirmed by the number of cases of depression and attempted as well as successful suicides recorded by involved professionals in many areas. How many lonely and desperate people end their lives in sad mental states, just craving someone to take the time to listen to them?

From the above, it would appear that no advance in technology is going to be the magic formula to eliminating loneliness. The truth may be the total reverse. Being able to constantly hear and see, via social media, just how happy and successful and popular other people appear to be, could be the exacerbating factor in increasing one’s sense of loneliness and being a failure. Age doesn’t seem to be the all defining factor in this situation either. Teenage suicides are, in certain societies, on the increase and cyber bullying is often being cited as the cause. How lonely must a young person feel when they have no-one to turn to, whilst they have to suffer on-line attacks to their feelings of self-worth.

Somehow, face to face bullying might be slightly easier to handle as others can sometimes witness the bullying and hopefully intervene. When bullying comes in the form of abusive personal phone calls or offensive photos going viral, belittling or embarrassing the recipient or creating fear, one can only imagine the pain such behaviour can cause. For the bully, it is easier to do their dirty work without having to actually face the one they are taking pleasure in trying to destroy psychologically. Obviously, it has to be a person with very low personal self esteem who needs to frighten and harass another to gain a feeling of power. Such behaviour deserves the most severe form of punishment if and when the perpetrator is identified and confronted.

Another area which appears to be the reason for many cases of loneliness is the emigration of family members to far-away places and the subsequent break down of a former close-knit unit. Although zoom calls and regular phone chats can help to keep in touch, nothing takes the place of personal visits and family time spent together. For many older people the internet itself can be challenging and often failing eyesight or hearing just makes communicating very difficult . By taking the time to notice signs of loneliness and being aware of it being a possible precursor to more serious mental conditions such as depression and feeling hopeless, we might just be able to do our part in making a difference for someone, in the course of our own day to day busy lives.

Just a thought.

Bye for now and see you on the Magic Roundabout!

BORN TOO EARLY PERHAPS?

Looking through reams and reams of old photographs dating back to around the time of Noah (well, it feels like that sometimes!), I am distressed by the fact that what today is regarded as a fashion necessity, labelled me as a bit of a freak of nature. What am I referring to, you probably wonder? It is the fact that on all my school photos I was always the only one wearing glasses! What on earth was going on in the 1950’s which resulted in me being an odd one out? Nowadays every second person, including many children, are wearing glasses of every style imaginable.

I was diagnosed as having an alternating squint and had to have an operation to correct it when I was 3 years old. At that time parents were not allowed to visit their children in hospital and my parents could only peep through the window at the top of the swinging doors at the entrance to my ward. Even though I was so young, I have memories of having bandages over both my eyes and peeping under the bandage to be able to sneak a look at my surroundings. I also remember being in a cot and having to be fed by a nurse and the bowl was specific to the era – with a wide rim surrounding the actual bowl. This was probably to minimise any spillage.

Nowadays, if a child has a squint, the treatment is non- intrusive and definitely less traumatic. The problem in those days was that eye specialists had yet to realise that, if you corrected the muscle in one eye, then the other eye started to squint. Why this was only discovered by the time I had children of my own, and my daughter began showing the same kind of problem, heaven alone knows. After all, the eye is a muscle and muscles can be strengthened by exercises. As a teenager, and having emigrated with my parents from the UK and now living in South Africa, I had a second operation on the other eye but afterwards, much to my disappointment, I still had to wear glasses. The eye specialists who had operated on my eye now recommended that I saw a lady in Johannesburg, Miss Munro Henderson, who specialised in teaching people how to strengthen their eyes through exercises using a variety of printed cards.

The point I was trying to make is how advanced life has become and how attitudes have changed. When I was little, I was often teased and called “four eyes” by classmates. I was even asked if I wore my glasses when I was sleeping. I eventually learnt to answer that I actually did sleep with them on so that my dreams were in colour! The glasses I wore in the early years were national health issue (UK) and were round and pink with wire ear- pieces. If one compares what is available nowadays, mine really did look very antiquated, but then they were issued free!

How I would have loved to have been able to wear my glasses as a fashion item instead of just a way of keeping my eyes straight, at a time when image, and being like everyone else, was the most important thing in life. Teenage years are when you want to fit in, not stand out! Anyway, suffice to say that as soon as I was able, and soft contact lenses became readily available, my glasses became a stand-by for night-time reading in bed while my lenses were in their overnight soaking solution. Unfortunately, by this time my teenage years were long gone and I was in my thirties.

As soon as I became a contact lens wearer, life changed dramatically as now I could swim in the sea and find my way back to our spot on the beach without the help of a human guide dog! Contact lenses were the best thing since sliced bread for me. My eyes no longer squinted at all, I found that I wasn’t as much a failure at ball sports as I had been whilst wearing glasses and my peripheral vision was amazing! Another fantastic benefit was being able to chop up onions without any tears whatsoever and being able to put food into a hot oven without the irritation of glasses misting up all the time. Raindrops falling on the glasses was no longer an issue and how wonderful it is to be able to see what you are doing when putting on eye makeup.

So now, why are so many people wearing glasses, whilst I, who have worn them from the age 3, couldn’t wait to swop over to contacts? Yes, there are some beautiful, mod frames from which to choose, but they still have the same drawbacks as before, except that no-one is made to feel embarrassed by wearing them due to them being viewed more as a fashion item than an aid for a disability! Sometimes one has to wonder whether they were born too early!!

BORN TOO EARLY PERHAPS?

Time Thieves – 2022 January No. 2

I am going crazy and want to change areas of life which are probably causing many of us to have way too little time to do all the important or pleasant things that we should have the time to do.

This wretched world of “me, me and more of me!” is the problem, and it’s sucking the soul out of many of us, though millions of people will continue to be in total denial! Have any of you stopped or even paused for a single second to think about the ways in which your time is being stolen from you every day? Okay, so we all (or at least many of us who are living in a relatively sophisticated country) have computers and mobile phones. Each time you do anything on either of these devices, you are bombarded by advertisements which, if one is totally honest, are useless and irritating to say the least.

So, you switch on your phone and click onto Facebook, as an example. There is a new post by someone whom you actually know and like. So, you decide to watch the video which she has posted updating all her friends and followers about her current circumstances. You think this is going to be a quick update. Think again! This person has no consideration for your busy life, and all the commitments which you have to fulfil during a normal day. 15 minutes after starting to watch the wretched, dragged-out video, you are angry with yourself for falling into the trap of even caring what this person’s life is all about! You were hoodwinked into wasting valuable “you” time because of someone else’s self-centred “me, me, me” time!

The same thing happens when you log onto a news app and see that there is a tantalizing question regarding, just as an example, the British royal family. The question seems simple but, lo and behold, it takes wading through reams and reams of trivia and barely related facts to try to find the answer to the question and the chances are that you will be so frustrated, that you never do. For heaven’s sake, let’s start remembering our school days, and having to make a precis of a lengthy piece of literature. Can’t we all start considering other people and stop dragging out information. As most of us cannot bear to wade through garbage to get to the nitty gritty of a situation, wouldn’t it be great if everything were simplified and answers were, as they should be, readily available in the minimum amount of time!

I am also getting frustrated on a regular basis with well known authors who, despite the fact that they have in the past written some really gripping books, are now taking about 500 waffly pages before we identify the killer, let alone the crime. All of this could have been reduced to a mere 250 pages – is this all a matter of trying to justify their existence on the year’s best seller list? For me, personally, short chapters, and a comfortable, easy writing style say it all. I don’t want to read a page whilst wishing to high heavens that the author would stop all the filling and waffling and just get on with the job in hand – and a bit faster too please!

Just the other day I saw an article on U tube where a young American woman was offering to show viewers how to make very attractive fabric gift bags in a maximum time of 5 minutes. Now that really did appeal to me, as I do like to indulge in the rare bit of creativity. So, I started watching. 15 minutes later, and totally fed up, I turned her off. She had taken all this time and the gift bag was only half finished – so much for a 5 minute job! We are being coerced into wasting valuable time over and over again. I really am going to try to make 2022 the year in which I nurture each and every moment I have and not allow my curiosity to steal any of my “me” time!

Update and Comments – 2022 January No 1 – A new Year with New Dreams and Hopes!

Is it only optimism that allows us to go forward into a new year with plans and hopes, regardless of how bad and challenging the past year turned out? Amazing how every year on 1 January we are able to face another 365 days of the unknown without dragging last year’s baggage along with us – well, that’s what we try to do, isn’t it? Unfortunately, it is often not easy to forget the failings and disappointments of the previous year, but all we can do is put our best foot forward and get on with life.

The past two years have been very difficult for people all over the globe due to the chaos caused by the Covid 19 pandemic. Strangely enough there have been businesses which have flourished whilst others have failed dismally, due to trading restrictions, lockdowns, curfews, and many other negative factors being played out during this time. With people spending more time at home due to countries’ attempts to control the spread of the virus, garden centres and companies associated with home maintenance as well as hardware stores have been known to have had record sales. Sadly, restaurants, entertainment venues as well as tourism have borne the brunt of much of the financial losses sustained, by all accounts. Truly a case of “one man’s loss is another man’s gain”.

Anyway, my wish for anyone being kind enough to read this update and comment at the beginning of this new year, is that you will find 2022 less challenging than the past two years may have been for you and your family. There will always be an abundance of fake news, words of doom, and worries far greater than we can possibly handle, but let’s just soldier on and try to do our best, despite all the negatives with which we are bound to be bombarded.

Good health and the ability to get up in the morning and face whatever lies ahead is my wish for you all. May we get to the end of December this year knowing that we have survived, despite life’s constant curved balls being thrown our way! A Very Happy New Year to you all!

Bye for now and see you on the Magic Roundabout!

Update and Comments – 2021 November No 1

What is there to say when one has completely lost track of time and only now comes to the realisation that months have flown by since my last post on this Blog! At least I can say that, although I seem to have lost track of time, I haven’t quite lost the plot …..entirely. That, though, is a moot point and open to discussion!

Here we are once again with the prospect of weeks of crazy, frantic over-spending just because we have Christmas, and all the extra purchases which that usually entails, in about four weeks’ time. Every year seems to spin out of control at a faster and faster rate, but that doesn’t mean that we are ready for the customary celebrations sooner than we were in years gone by. It’s best to take the bull by the horns and just try to relax somewhat and enjoy the fact that we have survived another year and are here to tell the tale of another Christmas season.

Having spent the first 14 years of my life in the Northern hemisphere, I still find it hard to feel in a truly festive mood in an often swelteringly hot climate. Mind you, there have been some South African Christmases where winter clothing has been a necessity due to unseasonable chilly snaps. This year might just be another one of those cool Christmases. However, I still tend to think that a snowy landscape, Christmas carollers singing at the front door, chocolate decorations on the Christmas tree, and frost on the windowpanes would be a welcome surprise at Christmas time.

Moans and groans aside, it is still the children who make Christmas the magical time that it can be. The threat of the Pixie on the roof watching out for naughty behaviour is the best thing ever. I remember making up this phenomenon many years ago, and I should have actually patented the idea. All of a sudden, many years later, every supermarket has an “Elf on the Shelf” toy on display for frustrated parents to buy in order to terrorise their children into behaving well for the weeks before the Big Day!

Anyway, a few weeks ago I decided that, after surviving one of the most difficult and challenging years ever, I was going to get my very ancient artificial tree, still with a few years’ life left in its branches, decorated and ready ahead of the usual date of 1 December. I felt that it would be a good idea to try to enjoy that warm, festive ambience, created by a pretty Christmas tree for a bit longer than in years gone by.

Well, I have been as good as my word. The tree is looking stunningly beautiful, if I say so myself! There are so many memories connected with all the ornaments as some of them are handmade and others actually came from Harrods and Selfridges in London. There are fat, little pigs sporting tutus, wooden characters on skis, toboggans, or dressed as soldiers, brass angels playing harps and trumpets, glass animals, as well as loads of delicate-coloured baubles … and the list goes on. Chinese, battery-operated, flashing, coloured Christmas tree lights add the final touch. After all, what better way to nurture our inner child than making an effort at Christmastime.

Why the countdown to the weekend? – 2021 September No. 1

I don’t know what the situation is in other countries, but in South Africa it would appear that everything revolves around the weekend, or one of our many, long weekends. The way in which the weeks seem to fly by nowadays, it’s a real shame to have a count down every week with people fanatically looking forward to two days or more of freedom from the work environment.

As more and more people have become self-employed out of sheer necessity, due to many factors, some of which are politically driven, then working longer hours and more days in the week have become the norm. So, I can’t be the only person who finds it irritating to hear radio personalities harping on every day as to how many days there are before it’s the weekend again so they can have time to relax or get in their cars and drive the many hours it takes to get to the coast, or the bushveld.

The irony is that we are currently in a serious recession, so one would think that there should be fewer trips away, and more hours spent working. Is this a common factor in countries other than China, where from a young age children have very little free time, being driven to achieve in later life? There is obviously a continuum with totally different work ethics at either end. There is a need for a lifestyle balance in order to avoid emotional breakdown, so work and play are both critical to a healthy mental condition. However, constantly longing for another break away from work or routine, must be a stress factor in itself. There are other ways to unwind, and spending some time watching the birds in the garden, or finding a quiet corner to read a good book, or doing some form of exercise might do the trick.

More than anything, the continuous countdown to the weekend cannot be healthy as it takes away the fact that every day should be viewed as a gift, regardless of the amount of work which needs to be done. If the Covid pandemic has taught us anything then it must be the fragility of life. We need to take stock of our own lives and become introspective regarding the important things which we may be overlooking if we are constantly rushing to get to the end of the week. Anyone else feel the same way, or am I just becoming somewhat of a cynic for trying to fit as much living into every day, regardless of whether it is at the beginning, the middle or the end of the week?

Update and Comment-2021-08-24

Passionate about reading

I would honestly say that, in my humble opinion, the best gift one can receive is being taught how to read. The pride and confidence which I recently witnessed when a grade two boy was able to read all the words on his younger brother’s birthday card, just emphasised yet again the importance of literacy.

Many of us can remember those first “readers” that we used when we first started school which had sentences such as “This is Janet”, “This is John”, “This is Spot”, “Run Spot, run!”. Tedious for parents having to listen to these being repeated over and over again, but the end results were well worth it! Watching children engrossed in a book has to be a wonderful reward for any parent. Far better than today’s common sight of eyes constantly focused on the screen of a mobile phone. Fortunately, books are still in demand despite the passion for social media and all its trappings.

I have just finished reading an extremely exciting thriller, and what was enlightening was all the reviews on its cover from other top crime writers. Just goes to show that, no matter how famous a writer becomes, they still carry on reading other peoples’ published works. The more one reads, the easier it is to write. There is also a link between literacy and numeracy. Both of these skills are critical to living, learning and participating in today’s society.

The tragedy is that South Africa is a country in which the majority of the population are illiterate. As soon as the Government changed hands, anything which had worked well under the Apartheid government was disbanded. There is no longer a government run Teachers’ Training College. This has resulted in many instances of under-educated teachers trying to teach crowded classes of children. I could ramble on for days describing all the challenges faced as far as education is concerned. Suffice to say, if you are reading this article, then you are one of a very small percentage of the world’s population who have the privilege of being literate. I hope that you enjoy reading as much as I do!

Bye for now and see you on the Magic Roundabout!

Fear in all its many forms – 2021 August No. 1

I hate having to admit it, but I have a total fear of many things, ridiculous as that might appear to less fearful individuals. One of the worst is my fear of the rapidly changing face of technology. I no sooner get my head around a particular way of communicating when, wham, bang, it doesn’t work that way anymore. I wish there were a slowdown button somewhere out there in the universe which I could activate to help me come to grips with everything which freaks me out! I no sooner feel pretty confident with the ins and outs of my mobile phone and all its finer points than I receive a message telling me that my contract is due to expire and that I need to go online to see what options are available to me. Oh, please, I cannot believe that two years have gone by already, and now I have to make decisions again regarding a choice of phone, the amount of data I need and whether I really do require such a large amount of talk time and sms’s. Why can’t I just carry on regardless – but then my phone has begun behaving rather erratically, so is that its way of telling me that it’s time for a new model?

Another fear which probably sounds ridiculous is that of automatic gates leading into private homes or complexes closing on my car as I am going in or out. As some of these contraptions have a time within which they will close automatically, they give me the heebie-jeebies. I don’t even trust the sensor which is meant to be in control as long as something is actually positioned in front of it. The only time I feel pretty confident that all will be well is if a human being is actually holding a remote button and I have enough faith in them to believe that they will only close the gates once I am safely on the other side! I think this stems from having seen the damage caused to an acquaintance’s brand-new car when a gate closed too quickly onto it.

I have just read an article about Richard Branson, and that man has zero fear by all accounts. Now is that a testosterone overload, a defiance to defeat all the odds, or does he actually have a secret death wish? It is crazy to read of the numerous times that he has actually defeated death with all his hair-raising escapades and is still, in his early seventies, living life on the edge. All I can say is that his wife and children deserve medals of bravery for just putting up with life with Branson!

As I am writing this article, I can see a pigeon perched on a tiny branch at the very top of a tree and just surveying its surroundings. It wouldn’t do for a bird to have a fear of heights, would it? The same thing applies to a fish who has a fear of water or an owl who has a fear of the dark! This is getting a bit ridiculous, so I will close for now, read an article or two in one of my self-help books on how to get rid of fear in all its shapes and forms! If I don’t write anything for a day or two, or even longer, please understand that becoming fearless may take quite a bit of time and lots of meditation or exercise, or whatever else the so-called experts recommend!

Coffee and a Chat – 2021 July No. 1

Ever wonder what it feels like to be a bird, able to fly high above the trees, and to look down and decide which garden is a safe one in which to find something tasty to eat for lunch? From way up in the sky, is it easy to be able to spot the cats or dogs which inhabit the garden down below, or is it sometimes a dangerous gamble? Everything might look calm and peaceful, no humans in sight but there could be a vicious beast lurking in its kennel, or snoozing in a hidden, sunny spot! Just as you land on the back of a garden chair, contemplating whether the sweet peppers might be a good choice for that quick midday snack, with a roar like thunder all hell is let loose. Just time to make a hurried take-off and land up on a high branch of a fir tree. Looking down at the beast who caused your near heart attack – a large, black and brown four-legged watchdog – you realize that now is not pepper eating time, sad to say.

When the owner of the frightening beast hears its angry barking, he comes outside to see if there is any danger. After all, there are predators of many shapes and forms, and even humans have to be on their guard. Telling the beast what an excellent alarm system she is, he then proceeds to throw a red toy around for the animal to fetch. This goes on for several moments until both beast and master return to the safety of the house. Now all seems to be quiet and safe, as the door to the house is closed and the beast is safely out of the way. Yes, now really is a good time to get a quick snack down there in that vegetable patch. That fat, juicy, red pepper is just waiting for a beautiful, quick-witted young barbet to take a bite and savour the delicious juicy flesh. Not sure how the owner of the house will feel when he sees a large piece missing when he picks it for his lunch. Not my problem, sorry to say, as all is fair in love and war, isn’t it?

Update and Comments – 4 July 2021

What is there to say when we are once again under lockdown level 4 with all its crippling restrictions for many industries. The situation concerning Covid has been badly mishandled by the powers that be, who spend more time taking one another to court than sorting out the crisis raging in our country, and Gauteng in particular. Our politicians prove over and over again that they are totally incapable of planning for the future. Everyone knows that the health department is in a real mess with a shortage of skilled staff as well as enough functional hospitals. All this whilst around 200 newly qualified young doctors have yet to be given posts to complete their internship programme. Their knowledge would surely be able to help to alleviate the current chaotic situation. Much of the problem has been caused by total mismanagement ever since the current government came into power, as well as the ongoing illegal pocketing of millions, if not billions of rand, which is rife throughout the entire country. Most municipalities countrywide are on the verge of bankruptcy. Tax money paid from the hard-earned incomes of frustrated citizens have been pocketed by corrupt individuals who have been entrusted with the running of their constituencies. A very sad and diabolical state of affairs.

All of the above is apart from the psychological strain being put upon many citizens due to having lost their jobs, being confronted with the loss of family members or friends due to the virus, and then hearing all the constant negative news reports. What appears to be a strange situation is that within the crowded informal settlements, the incidence of Covid infections seems to be very low. Could this be due to the fact that so many poor people have always lived in very close proximity to each other and have thus developed extremely strong immune systems? Has this perhaps resulted in them creating their own herd immunity? It has been documented that ever since the virus raised its ugly head, and protocols regarding the wearing of masks and keeping social distancing were implemented, these were totally ignored in many of the poorer areas. One would have thus expected the numbers of casualties to be astronomic, and this does not appear to be the case. No doubt there will be some or other kind of study done regarding this phenomenon, so only time will tell if living in a crowded environment with all the challenges of surviving on or even below the poverty line can actually provide a protection against the Covid virus.

Bye for now and see you on the Magic Roundabout!

Continue reading Update and Comments – 4 July 2021